Do It Now.
Name a Guardian for Your Minor Children
It is a topic no parent wants to think about: What would happen to your children if you were gone? However, facing this question is one of the most loving and powerful things you can do for your kids. If you take no steps to legally nominate a guardian for your minor children, a judge who does not know your family will determine who raises them. The nominated guardian will be responsible for raising and caring for your children when you cannot. The judge’s choice could be someone you never would have chosen.
No one will ever be you or parent exactly like you. Still, there is likely someone you know who could do a decent job providing for your children’s general welfare, education, and medical needs if you are no longer available to do so. Parents with minor children need to nominate a guardian in case both parents die or become incapacitated (unable to manage their own affairs) before their children reach adulthood. While the likelihood of that happening might be slim, the consequences of not naming a guardian are serious.
If you fail to nominate a guardian (typically done in your last will and testament), a judge who does not know you, your kids, or your family will make that choice for you. This judge will pick the person they think is best based on the standards and rules laid out under state law—and that person may not be the one you would have chosen. And without your guidance, your family members may squabble over who gets to raise your children, especially if money is involved. In the worst-case scenario, if no one is willing to take care of your children, they could end up in foster care.
How to Choose a Guardian
How do you choose the right person to care for your minor children if you are no longer here? It is a huge decision, and there are many things to consider. Here are the factors our clients have considered when selecting guardians and backup guardians:
How well the children and the potential guardian know and enjoy each other
How aligned the potential guardian’s parenting style, moral values, educational level, health practices, and religious or spiritual beliefs are with yours
The distance the potential guardian lives from you, whether you want your children to stay where they are (for example, so they would not have to move from a familiar school, friends, and neighborhood), and whether the potential guardian would be willing to relocate to your area if that is your wish
The age and health of the potential guardians
Grandparents may have the time but not the energy to keep up with a toddler or a teenager.
An older guardian may become ill or die before a child is grown, so your children may face a second loss.
A younger guardian, especially a sibling, may be busy finishing college, starting a career, or raising a family of their own.
The potential guardian’s level of emotional preparedness and interest
Someone who is single or who does not want children of their own may not be interested in or able to care for your children.
Someone with a houseful of their own children may not want more around or be unable to accommodate additional children financially or due to lack of space.
WARNING: Serving as your children’s guardian is a massive responsibility. Instead of surprising someone with this role, talk to your top choices beforehand and confirm their commitment to serving. You should also name at least one backup guardian in case your first choice cannot serve.
Who Is in Charge of the Money?
Raising your children should not be a financial burden for the guardian. You are likely planning to provide enough money from your accounts, property, and life insurance to cover most of your children’s needs. Some parents even set aside extra money to help the guardian accommodate new additions to their family (for example, funds to buy a bigger car or add a room to their home). However, planning for your children’s financial future is the first step; you must also decide who should be in charge of that money. Here are some points to think about when making that determination.
The best person to raise your kids may not be the best person to manage their inheritance.
Having two different people in charge—a trustee to manage the money and a guardian to care for the kids—can create a system of checks and balances. The guardian would have to ask the trustee for funds, which can add an extra layer of protection and security for your children’s inheritance.
On the other hand, having one person raise the children and handle the money can simplify things. If you choose the same person to serve as both guardian and trustee, it is imperative that you fully trust them. They will be making routine and important financial decisions with no one else involved. You want to be confident they have the time, judgment, and skills to handle both roles well.
Let’s Continue This Conversation
Guardianship for your minor children is not an easy conversation to have, but it is one of the most important things you will ever do for your children. Let us help you put your wishes into a legally binding plan. Remember, you can always change your mind later about whom you choose. Although the chance of a guardian ever having to step in is slim, your role as a parent is to plan ahead and protect your children. Call us today to put the right protections in place for your children and their future.
Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash
